Buckle up, movie lovers, because we’re diving into the cinematic world of the not-so-great, the bad, and the downright infamous! Yes, it’s time to chat about the movies of 2023 that didn’t quite hit the mark. While some flicks made us laugh and cry for all the right reasons, others left us scratching our heads, covering our eyes, or simply wondering, “What were they thinking?”
So, what are these unforgettable misfires you ask? Look no further than the infamous Golden Raspberry Awards, also lovingly known as the Razzies. Designed to poke fun at the year’s cinematic missteps, the Razzies have been “rewarding” the worst of Hollywood since 1980. Think of it as the Oscars’ cheeky cousin that showed up to the family reunion with a whoopee cushion and a grin.
As we approach the glittering (or should we say, rust-covered) 2024 ceremony, let’s take a leisurely stroll down the hall of shame spotlighting the films that have been “honored” with a nomination for their less-than-stellar contributions to the art of cinema.
First up on the list of eyebrow-raisers is a reboot that probably should have remained in the idea bin. Despite the hopes of nostalgic fans, this blast from the past turned out to be an uninspired retread rather than a fresh take. The plot was thinner than a dollar store tissue, and the acting performances were wooden enough to give Pinocchio a run for his money.
Then there’s the highly-anticipated sequel that, sadly, no one asked for. Somehow, it managed to unravel everything that made the original charming and fun. The sequel was more tangled than last year’s Christmas lights, with a storyline that left viewers more confused than enlightened. It’s a classic case of a follow-up that misunderstood the assignment entirely.
Let’s not forget the action flick that promised high-octane thrills but delivered a snooze fest instead. With special effects that seemed straight out of the early 2000s and dialogue that made viewers cringe, this film sank faster than a lead balloon. The leading star’s heroic attempts to salvage the movie couldn’t overcome the gravity of a script heavier on clichés than creativity.
And how could we overlook the romantic comedy that was more tragedy than love story? Its plot was so predictable, you could practically see the ending from the opening credits. The chemistry between the leads was so lacking you’d think they were reciting the periodic table rather than sweet nothings. It was a “will they, won’t they” that quickly turned into a “wish they hadn’t.”
We also have the horror movie that was unintentionally hilarious. In an attempt to spook audiences, it ended up being an accidental comedy. The jump scares were so telegraphed you could schedule your screams in your calendar. And the monster… let’s just say the Halloween store called; they want their costume back.
Finally, a shout-out to that independent film that tried so hard to be different it became incomprehensible. It aimed for artsy and avant-garde, but landed on baffling and bizarre. While the director’s vision might have been bold, the end result was a film so puzzling that it sent viewers on a wild goose chase for any semblance of a plot.
So there you have it, folks – a sneak peek at the standouts in the race for the Razzies. These movies took us on a roller-coaster ride of emotions, mostly comprised of disappointment and disbelief. As we prepare ourselves for the 2024 Razzie Awards, let’s raise a popcorn tub in acknowledgment of these films and their filmmakers, who, despite their misfires, dared to dream big on the silver screen. Here’s to hoping they can dust themselves off and come back stronger next time – or, at the very least, provide us with some good-natured chuckles at their own expense.